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Can We Have Compassion For Ourselves?

Updated: Nov 7, 2020

Fatigued beyond measure, frustrated out of my freaking mind and patience is dangerously low. The grind of making its through grief is taxing to put it lightly. It's a marathon without a finish line and I feel like I'm crawling.

Compassion (n.)

To empathize with someone who is suffering and to feel compelled to reduce the suffering.

If we have the capacity to stand long along side others during their dark times, why then can't we advocate for ourselves? So often we beat ourselves up when things don't go the way we wanted or had intended. The game of "I should have, could have, didn't" becomes a regular event in the mind. Overwhelming and minimizing all that you have actually succeeded at. Life doesn't have to be some extravagant event, sometimes getting in the shower that day was a success. Sometimes conquering the mountain that is the grocery store is a boulder of weight taken off your shoulders, but then we act like it wasn't the huge feat that it actually was.

Self compassion is how we relate to ourselves. It helps give you patience for your own perceived flaws and connects us with our more authentic self.

Here are four ways that you can show self compassion

  1. Eat Healthy - Your body is the only one you get. Treat it like the vintage mustang sitting wrapped up in the shop. You wouldn't put just any type of gasoline in that cherry red Shelby GT3500R. It would only be the best! Do yourself a favor and only fill your gas tank with the best. It will help your thinking, your sleeping and your overall health.

  2. Write a letter to yourself from the perspective of your compassion- State all the ways you have been hard on yourself. Write out all the things you have been able to accomplish also. If you need help starting this letter, here we go! Dear __(your name)___, this is your compassion and I have some things I need to tell you.....

  3. Give Encouragement- The negative thoughts in the mind can be consuming. According to the National Science Foundation, an average person has 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. Of those, 80% are negative and 95% are repetitive thoughts. With those statistics in mind would it be so bad to learn to give out more encouragement and even offer ourselves a little bit? Lets toss the stinking thinkin.

  4. Practice Mindfulness- Meaning, maintaining a moment by moment awareness of your thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations and surrounding environment through a gentle and nurturing lens. In other words, bring it back to the present moment, don't let your thoughts wonder.

You may have already heard the things on this list time and time again, but I ask you, do you truly practice them? See knowing something doesn't actually put it into practice, you have to put action behind it.

Having compassion for yourself means to honor and accept your humanness. We are all human, we all make mistakes, we all judge ourselves, we all fall. When you practice self compassion, doesn't it make getting back up from that fall just a little easier?

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