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Holiday Grief And All The Things...

Another year has come and gone. Another holiday season we must walk through. The mix of emotions that rage through our hearts and minds can be overwhelming. We can often get caught in the rigamarole of the infamous "what if, I should have..." game. We can let fear and anger take over. We can isolate and keep others out. Maybe this is your first holiday season while walking through grief or maybe this is your 20th. Regardless, this year I want to encourage you to love yourself through this season.


This time of year can bring on so much extra stress. Listen to your body, it speaks so loud.

  • Breathe - Go for a nature walk (or an urban walk) and breathe and feel the wind on your skin

  • Move - Get out your yoga mat or a chair and have a Grief Yoga experience

  • Touch - Massage your shoulders, neck, feet, and hands and find compassionate connection within

  • Sing - Use your voice to sing or hum a song. It can be anything from a hymn to the Beatles

  • Sweat - As much as tears can be purifying for the heart, so can sweat for the body

  • Dance - Put on a song that inspires you and find your way of moving with it

  • Cleanse - Take a moment and have a water meditation in the bath or shower. Drink plenty of water.

  • Rest - Whenever your body feels tired, take a nap. Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is take a break.

What does loving yourself through this season look like? Maybe, we stop the heart stabbing "what if" game and try writing out words of love. Journal out all the things you wish you could say if you had 5 more minutes with them.


There are so many places to go and be this time of year, I beg you ask the question, Does this serve me? Will doing X, Y & Z really bring me joy or am I running myself ragged to please others? Honestly take a moment.... right now.... do you need to do ALL the things or can you have an enjoyable, peaceful holiday without occupying all 24 hours of the day.


Traditions can hurt the heart when we are missing someone who regularly participated in them. What are some things that you can do to honor your person thats missing this year? Can you hold space for them? What does holding space for your loved one look like to you; try lighting a candle, write them a letter, share stories about them with the family around the kitchen table, bake their favorite holiday dish, wrap up in their special blanket, bring out the photo album and sit with your memories, spray the perfume they wore, decorate a memorial tree for them, pray over them. You get the point, just because they are no longer here doesn't mean that we have to stop all little things that remind us of them. Sometimes starting some new traditions is what works for you too, don't be afraid to try somthing new if thats where your heart leads you.


We talked a lot about all the things we can do but that also brings into mind what other may think of us if we choose to do these things. If you have ever sat down with me, you know what's coming next. No one has walked a day in your shoes. Grief IS NOT a one size fits all situation. What makes sense to some, doesn't make sense to others AND THATS OKAY! Do what your heart is leading you to do, give yourself grace, talk about your person, light the candle, put out the Christmas stocking, start a new tradition, share all the stories and if that makes other people uncomfortable then (here it comes...) THATS A THEM GROWTH THING! We cannot put our healing on the back burner because it makes others uncomfortable. You cannot pretend like everything is hunky dory, when its not. Be open, work on it, work through it but be honest about it. There is healing in truthful communication. Your future, your healing, depends on what you do now. (and yes, you can heal)


So take care of yourself. Be gentle with yourself. Love yourself.


With all the love, peace and healing we wish you a Merry Christmas💚❤️💚❤️


If you feel you need some extra help or you are ready to work on the whole grief thing, be sure to check out www.aspensangels.life

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