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I'm Fine and Other Lies We Tell Ourselves

You hear it everywhere "I'm fine". You're at the grocery store.. "Can I help you?" "I'm fine". You're having a really rough day at work "I'm fine". You get in a car accident "I'm fine". You hear that your friends mother died "I'm fine". We even say it when we experience the worst losses in our our lives, "I'm fine". Really....?

Our society has been taught that we are not to talk about how we really feel. Don't put all those emotions you have spilling out on anyone else. We are taught when someone dies, you send a card... or maybe some food, then you go to the funeral and you get to cry there, then....... THAT'S IT.... "I'm fine" and we are expected to move on. If you don't believe me, check your employers HR policy. If you experience the loss of a spouse you get 5 days off. If it's your parent or a child, you can take 3 days. If it's your uncle... maybe you can get a few hours for the funeral... but then, you had better be back to work and you had better be functioning.

We have been molded into a world of "I'm Fine" and we aren't! How are we expected to think clearly when our heart has been shattered? Have you ever been driving and then get to your location and honest to goodness can't remember if you stopped at the stop sign you know you went through? Or how about had a full on conversation and made a commitment to do something and can't remember any of it? What about the time you straight up forgot to pick your kids up from school because you had no idea that so much time had slipped by you? Grief is a tricky little sucker, it can't be cleaned up in 5 days. It's going to keep showing showing up. The more we lie to ourselves with the infamous "I'm fine" the more ways grief will end up finding ways to slip into your life. For example, the many relationships you burned bridges to because grief showed up. The cashier you yelled at for no good reason because grief showed up. The car accident you got into because grief showed up. The daily drinking habit that's new because grief showed up. The unemployment check you now collect because you walked out of your job because grief showed up. The shower you haven't taken in a week because grief showed up. The constant pit in your stomach because grief showed up.

You see, the thing about grief is that it will show up. You can't run from it. You can cowboy up for a bit, but grief will find a way to let you know that its still here. You can try to brush it under the rug. You can overindulge in your job to prove that you're okay. You can "keep busy" but eventually we all have to put our heads on that pillow at night, grief will comes rushing in waves. The only way heal your grief is to go through it. Be honest with those around you. Grief is freaking lonely and the more people we tell "I'm fine" to the lonelier it gets.

Break these generational myths when it comes to grieving. Lets face our grief so that it no longer limits you or affects your capacity for happiness. Let's stop with the "I'm fines" and move into a new era where our mental health isn't a burden or a shame to wear but a way of healing ourselves and future generations.


If you have been struggling with your grief and are ready to take that next step to get some help visit

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