Words matter. Our English language is complex and contains so many ways we can express ourselves, and our language is very much alive.
Think about the following phrases:
I am Angry. I feel angry.
Now think about these:
In this moment I’m angry. Or I feel angry right now. What is the difference between these two sets of sentences? Think about them for a second, beyond comparing exact wording.
Think about how they feel.
“I am angry” is a state of being. It feels solid. I AM angry. I take on that persona. The timeline on this feeling is continual, indefinite, maybe permanent. It at least feels that way.
“I feel angry” isn’t as harsh as “I am,” but it’s still THERE. “In this moment I’m angry,” feels more temporary. It’s a set time, a moment. It doesn’t feel as heavy.
“In this moment, I feel angry,” is even less harsh and even less permanent.
Even changing the wording from a state of being to a timeline.
If we say, “In this moment…” or “…right now,” we give ourselves permission to change our feelings, to let them go, and if we let them go, we can be open to something new, something better.
We have feelings bombard us in both good and bad situations. We don’t always have control over what feelings come in our heads and hearts in these situations, but we do have control over what we do with them. The best thing we can choose is to be honest about what they are.
Feelings are also so fleeting that we don’t want to hold onto negatives that will harm us if we don’t have to.
We must be intentional to make this happen. We must choose to practice giving our feelings a timeline, thus giving permission to move forward from them.
So, start with today, just today, saying, “in this moment, I feel…” or “right now I feel…”
Practice. You won’t get it right every time, but words are powerful, and we have a choice to change our words and that will change our thinking. Try it for a day and see what happens. If it helps, try it again the next day. Take control back from your feelings and choose.